The Red Sky
by Acidbuk
Summary: Shinji Wakes up on a beach after Third impact to a whole new world.
1. The Hell Begins

Author: Acidbuk  
  
Title: The Red sky.  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Summary, Shinji wakes up on the beach after Third Impact.  
  
Disclaimer: you should know this already but: I'll do it again for those of you that don't, Gainex own Eva and its characters. I do not, simple ne?  
  
Chapter 1: The Hell begins.  
  
He looked up into the sky it wasn't blue anymore not blue like he remembered now it was red, blood red. He simply stared at it unblinkingly as if in pure disbelief, he was alive, why was he alive? He had let everyone down. Third impact had taken place, the Black moon of Lilith was Still high in the sky casting its dark shadow across the earth. Well what was left of it anyway He didn't deserve to be alive. He could still see the Green spirit crosses, raising high into the sky, it was almost beautiful if it wasn't for the fact he knew they were peoples souls, and that he had killed them  
  
Misato, Rei, Ritsuko, Maya, Kensuke, Touji, Hikari and Even Father they were all gone because he failed.  
  
For some inexplicable reason he suddenly turned his head and looked at the red head next to him. She had survived. Was this his punishment for failing the earth to spend the rest of his life with her. A thought crossed his mind, maybe he DID die and this was hell. Condemned spending all eternity with the one who hates you the more than anything in the world.  
  
Driven by a urge, even he himself didn't understand he Straddled the red head and started to squeeze the life out of her, refusing to accept his fate. The Fate of spending eternity with HER, with Asuka.  
  
Suddenly aware of a pressing on her throat and a lack of air Asuka started to struggle, but was over come by Shinji's found strength. With every effort she could muster from her quickly fading strength She simply reached up and touched his cheek.  
  
Shinji stopped and sat down beside her Asuka always would believe it was that single act of kindness that saved her life. However that wasn't the truth. What stopped Shinji that day was as he looked up from Asuka's face to glance at the destruction that had become Tokyo 3 and he realised, this is what he deserved. If this was hell then it was a fitting end for that of Shinji Ikari - Son of the Evil bastard Gendo Ikari.  
  
A fate that Shinji knew was sealed when Asuka spoke for the first time since she woke up -" Weakling, you couldn't even kill me right, your pathetic, you little pervert"  
  
Shinji Smiled accepting his fate to spend in Hell or if not it was at least as good as.  
  
The Stars of the dark night sky shone brightly down upon them, amazingly the night sky was still black even now after Third impact. The two lone individuals sat on logs staring into the fire as it flickered and its orange light fought against the darkness. For the Light feared the Darkness, and he Darkness was jealous of the Light.  
  
This was how most nights were spent, neither talking nor really wanting to talk this suited Shinji fine, he was used to being alone. Asuka however used to always be talkative before Third impact even if it was just insulting him, she would say something. Now though she remained silent.  
  
The Makeshift bandage Shinji made for her covered her right eye. Well more precisely the black hole where her right eyes used to be, she'd also lost complete use of her left arm below the elbow, of course if she had access to NERV's advanced nerve argumentation equipment her arm could be repaired without a problem. However she didn't and unless she started to at least work with Shinji she would never truly be herself again, saying that she never would be completely human again either. She would have her Eye replaced with a Cybernetic and the Robotics that would allow her to use her left arm would leave her with a cold touch.  
  
Shinji looked out at the devastated city, the protected city and the place where everyone was supposed to be safe, buildings burned and various structures had fallen and crater's where scattered around. Shinji could hear the sound of motorbikes, gunfire and the screams of women and children in the distance, which however bad did signal that others had survived Third impact as well or were they just condemned souls like him.  
  
"Shinji", Asuka spoke quietly, Shinji listened so attentively since she spoke so little now.  
  
"Yes", Shinji said not looking away from the campfire that flickered against the night.  
  
"How much of Japan do you think is like this?" Asuka spoke.  
  
"I don't know, it could just be local to Tokyo 3 but somehow I doubt that". Was Shinji's answer  
  
"Shinji, I think maybe tomorrow we should go into the city, look for supplies"  
  
"Yeah sure", was all Shinji could muster.  
  
Asuka lay down onto the floor and stretched out near the fire closing her eye and drifting off into a deep sleep.  
  
Shinji covered her with the blanket, amazingly the only reason they had this blanket is because it had become stuck on a broken support beam. Asuka had instantly claimed it as her own and barred anyone for touching it of course Shinji abridged who was he to argue with her.  
  
Shinji watched over her as she slept for countless hours before finally falling asleep himself, to protect her was the least his condemned soul could do for if he could do that maybe one day he could be offered redemption or at least forgive himself for his mistakes.  
  
For tomorrow they would enter the once protected city.  
  
Authors Notes.  
  
In the next Chapter what will Shinji and Asuka find in the now devastated Tokyo 3? Will they find a New Hope or only more nightmares. Find out Next episode and maybe they'll be some service too XD 


	2. The Protected City

Chapter 2: The Protected City  
  
The wind blew at them, in huge whining gusts kicking up sand into their faces, they looked away from the wind to protect their eyes. Everything was telling them they shouldn't be here, even nature itself was conspiring to make them turn back, they had spent a month in the now wastelands outside Tokyo living off what ever they could find, funnily enough Shinji found that Rat tasted good when cooked. After some coaxing even Asuka had come to love it, if only because it let her survive.  
  
They both looked forward to some real food when they got into the city even if it was awful and something they would never eat under previous circumstances but anything was better than the Rat they had both come to love.  
  
Shinji and Asuka walked through the deserted streets, the old style Japanese wooden windows knocked against their frames as the wind blew them open. It was ere, hell on earth best described it.  
  
As they got deeper into the city, they came across several bodies'. All of which had been mutilated beyond recognition and had several limbs missing, like they had been eaten.  
  
Asuka knelt beside one of the fallen men and searched his corpse for anything useful. Shinji simply gave her a look of disgust unable to believe that even SHE would rob the dead. Asuka removed the man's weapon and Jacket and took it as her own. She searched through its pockets finding his wallet she looked at the man's ID, Takashi, Roanji. She looked at the man's picture, he looked so happy in it little did he know the fate that would befall him. She removed any Cash from the wallet and pocketed it, she then threw the wallet back onto the corpse and she Checked the 9mm handgun was loaded, then placed it in the other pocket.  
  
Asuka returned to Shinji's side. The studded black leather jacket not really matching her Red Plug suit. "We should get some clothes", Shinji said as he pointed to an abandoned Shop across the street.  
  
The windows had been smashed and all valuable items had been taken, but there were still some clothes on the racks. The smashed Glass made a crushing sound under there feet as they 'browsed" what remained.  
  
Asuka Finally decided on a pair of blue denim Jeans and a white T-shirt, She ducked behind the counter as she removed her plug suit and pulled on her new jeans warning Shinji not to look under pain of death.  
  
Suddenly Shinji ducked behind the counter Asuka was going to scream some obscenity at him for breaking his promise not to look but the serious look on his face stopped her as he silently pointed to the doorway.  
  
However much Asuka valued her modesty it wasn't worth her life as she crept to the side of the counter she peaked her head around just as one very large leather clad man and a shorter leather clad woman wearing an eye patch entered.  
  
"You know what I love about shopping these days", the Woman spoke her voice was raspy.  
  
"No" said the Man, his voice was deep.  
  
"Every Thing You see is Free", the Woman replied with laughter as she rubbed her hands up and down the mans inner thigh,  
  
"Awe come on Screech, not right now", the Man protested but was cut off with a deep passionate kiss.  
  
Asuka almost hurled at this and would have yelled out exactly what kind of perverts she thought they were had it not been for the fact that they were very well armed perverts.  
  
A third person entered the shop, he was a tall skinny man with thick rimmed glasses. "Hey you two love birds, if your finished we need to get back to the Bar as much as I love you two I love my beer more", he spoke.  
  
The two laughed then made there way to the exit, a moment later there was the sound of revving motorcycle engines and then silence once again returned.  
  
Asuka breathed a sigh of relief that pulled on her T-shirt and jacket. Shinji started to undress and picked out a Pair of Jogging pants and a blue T-shirt. Asuka watched the young man's every move. After all it was only fair, at least that's how she thought about it. Once Shinji was dressed they returned to the Streets of Tokyo 3.  
  
They came to a brightly lit place with a large neon sign above the Entrance flashing "Otto's" it was quite properly the most lively place in all of Tokyo now. They could hear the loud music as they approached and several motorcycles were parked outside.  
  
A Large Man stood on the door, he was wearing a leather waistcoat with white undershirt and leather pants. He was quite stocky, with a long beard that almost touched his chest. As they went to enter the bar the man stood in their way Asuka glared at the man but he didn't seem the slightest bit intimidated. She considered letting Shinji try since his father was possibly one of the most intimidating men in all of Japan then thought better of it.  
  
"ID", The large Doorman said simply. "ID?" they both asked in unison.  
  
"No ID no Entry", the Doorman was obviously a man of few words. "Well where do I get an ID?" Shinji asked Stupidly. Asuka for a moment thought Shinji must be the dumbest person on the entire planet. She then looked at the doorman, and corrected herself - second dumbest.  
  
However Shinji's blatant question did offer a surprising reward when the doorman spoke again. "I'm not supposed to tell anyone this" he whispered looking about; "but theirs a guy in the Maju district that can make you an ID", the Man handed them a Tiny piece of paper with a address scribbled on it.  
  
Asuka smiled at the man, maybe he wasn't as dumb as he looked after all and then the man farted loudly and scratched his ass. Asuka reconsidered.  
  
As they walked away from Otto's bar. They saw the Funujo Monorail train. Pass overhead, Asuka was surprised it was still running, even after Third impact. Then Shinji explained that it was automated so there was no Driver to be called to Lilith, he then assumed that since it hasn't stopped there was no longer anyone around that could, or knew how.  
  
The monorail station was deserted, apart from a few people sleeping on the floors and benches. It made Asuka think about where she was going to sleep tonight. Sleeping out in the Wilderness didn't bother her, all she had to worry about there was wild animals, but here it was a totally different wild animal she had to worry about,  
  
She looked over at Shinji who seemed almost carefree about the affair, like no matter how bad things were it didn't bother him in the slightest. Had he accepted life like this so easily?  
  
As the Train pulled into the plat form, Asuka and Shinji boarded it, they Knew that the train went all around Tokyo 3 so all they had to do was stay on it until there stop. The Maju district, what would they find there?  
  
Asuka simply wondered, would her world ever be the same again.  
  
Authors Notes:  
  
As Asuka and Shinji head towards the Maju district, what will they find there? And who is this mysterious person that can create ID's? Find out in the next episode.  
  
Thanks you so much for you kind Comments Kitana ^_^ also pre-read on this chapter was done by Buzz69 


	3. Old Aquantances

Chapter 3: Old Acquaintances.  
  
The Funujo Monorail train pulled into the platform and a automated Computer voice announced its presence "Maju District, please change here for the Kasho Express and Kyoto Lines"  
  
They stood and made there way to the trains exit. The platform was dark, there was virtually no light whatsoever and the steel doors that opened to the outside world were closed. It was pretty safe to assume the power was off. Shinji knew the Train ran off a separate supply, and the Maju district had a reputation for being rundown even before Third Impact.  
  
Braising themselves against the frame, Shinji and Asuka pushed against the door and the heavy metal slid loudly across the lip giving them an exit.  
  
They made their way through the deserted streets to what looked like an abandoned apartment block, not to dissimilar to where Rei used to live, a slight hope raised in Shinji's heart maybe she was alive.  
  
They entered the building and looked for apartment 4C as was scribbled on the paper as they came to a steel door, much stronger and heavier looking than those around it, they assumed this must be the place, Asuka taking the initiative knocked loudly.  
  
At first there was no response so Asuka knocked again, still no response, just as they were turning to leave the sound of several deadbolts being unlocked from the other side filed the corridor and the door slowly opened. However it was who answered that shocked Shinji more than anything else.  
  
The chestnut brown haired boy popped his head around the door, adjusted his glasses and said "Hello", the Man not recognising either Shinji or Asuka at first but then slowly there images sank in and he recalled them. Immediately running and giving Shinji a very big hug.  
  
"Your Alive Shinji! I thought you were dead", Kensuke Aida blubbered through tears. After ten minutes of this, Kensuke finally, came to his senses and wiped off his glasses and looked over at Asuka then back to Shinji "and you brought the she demon with you", he spoke sarcastically before inviting them both into his home.  
  
"So Shin-man what do you need?" Kensuke said enthusiastically, Hoping for some secret NERV Mission to save the world, even though he knew they probably didn't need him for that.  
  
"Some bouncer on a Bar called Otto's gave us this address saying that you could make us a Passport ID", Shinji spoke smiling, although Kensuke couldn't hide is slight disappointment he was still very pleased that they needed him for something.  
  
"Sure, no problem Shin-man", Kensuke said, walking over to his computer typing furiously at its keyboard.  
  
Kensuke got both intern to look at the camera while he snapped there Photo's and created there new identities, Shinji became 'Shinji Kaji" and Asuka's new identity was 'Hilde Maxwell"  
  
Kensuke then spent hours hacking the JSDF Defence network, adding a whole background and life story that would hold well in even the most thorough checks.  
  
Shinji was the son of an extremely wealthy International businessman, and Asuka was the sister of a famous Biochemist and genetic researcher who were of course also fictional.  
  
After many hours Kensuke finally handed the pair their new ID's, that looked very good for fakes. Kensuke smiled at them proudly.  
  
"Kensuke, do you know what happened to the others, are they alive? Dead?" Shinji asked sipping some coffee.  
  
"I don't know Shinji, you're the first person I've seen from before everything went to hell", Kensuke answered honestly.  
  
"Well we should get going" Shinji said.  
  
"Shinji its very late, if you need somewhere to stay tonight, your more than welcome to stay here", Kensuke Offered. Shinji looked over to Asuka who simply nodded then hushed. It was decided.  
  
Kensuke gave Asuka and Shinji the Futon while he himself slept on the sofa, which was very comfortable; he had made sure when 'buying' it that if he ever needed to sleep on it he wouldn't get cramped.  
  
Asuka took the Futon for herself under threat of violence leaving Shinji with the floor next to her. Asuka snuggled under the blankets and turned of the light. Leaving Shinji in the cold and dark, he shivered as the night drew on, he started to see his breath freeze, he looked over to Asuka in her Futon as she sighed content and warm. Shinji's teeth started to chatter from the cold. He'd forgotten just how cold it could get in this part of Tokyo 3 at night.  
  
**********  
  
The morning came and Asuka stretched out snug in her futon, she looked over to her left and there was Shinji, his skin pale and his lips blue, icicles and frost covered his body, he had obviously frozen to death. Asuka screamed.  
  
********  
  
Asuka woke up breathing heavy and sweating. She looked over to Shinji who was shivering in his sleep. She moved the Futon closer to him and covered them both with its blanket, hugging him tightly from behind.  
  
"If you get any idea's third child, I will remove your testicles with a spoon", she whispered more to herself than anyone since she knew Shinji was sound asleep.  
  
********  
  
Shinji was the first to wake up to find Asuka 'clamped' to his back. Her ample breasts pressing tightly against him, just this thought alone was almost enough to induce a deep shade of red in Shinji's cheeks. However what sent him over the edge was that Asuka also had her legs rapped around his and the slight vibrations it sent through him as she breathed, that was it for Shinji, he then promptly passed out.  
  
When he awoke again Asuka was gone and he was alone. Was it all a dream? He could still smell her scent, on him he knew it wasn't but it was best not to ask anyone about it, especially Asuka and if he talked about it to Kensuke he would definitely be dead.  
  
After showering, Shinji went into the kitchen to find Asuka and Kensuke talking, actually TALKING. Not yelling at each other but holding a civil conversation, Shinji grabbed his coffee and drank some if its caffeinated goodness down.  
  
If Shinji ever had an addiction it was coffee, Shinji started to cook breakfast. It seemed the least he could do after Kensuke had spent so much time to get their ID's as close to perfect as possible.  
  
"Kensuke, I'm curious, why hasn't the military intervened with all the violence in the city?" Asuka spoke up  
  
Kensuke looked very serious for a moment then spoke "The military are just as bad as the bikers, in fact in some respects there worse. If you see any soldiers around don't think they will help you, they will more likely shoot you"  
  
They both walked into the kitchen and Shinji was stood at the stove wearing Kensuke's Apron and chef's hat stirring 'something' in a pot. Though neither knew what it was and didn't really WANT to know, it did smell very good, they both had to admit Shinji was an excellent cook.  
  
Shinji dished up breakfast and they all ate it very quickly, it was very good, much better than the Rat they were both used to. Asuka rubbed her tummy with one hand and said "Yummy, what was that"  
  
Kensuke looked at Shinji, then at Asuka,  
  
"You don't want to know, trust me", was Shinji's simple answer, Kensuke and Asuka looked at each other then shrugged  
  
"So where will you go?" Kensuke asked the two friends, despite everything she did and was he did consider Asuka a friend.  
  
"We're going back to Otto's bar", said Asuka  
  
As they headed back to the Train station, little did they know that both of them were thinking about the previous night spent at Kensuke's and they both wondered what they would find in Otto's Bar.  
  
Authors Notes:  
  
Now equipped with ID and a strong sense of adventure our duo head towards Otto's bar. But can another figure from the past stir something in Shinji that he thought was long dead? Find out next episode.  
  
Also Pre-read thanks go to Buzz69 and Kitana. 


	4. Sudden Surprises

Chapter 4: Sudden surprises.  
  
They came to Otto's Bar once again, there was the large doorman waiting for them. "ID", he spoke. Both Asuka and Shinji showed him their newly acquired ID's, the Doorman smiled knowingly. He stepped aside and let them enter the bar, pinching Asuka's ass as she passed him.  
  
Asuka narrowed her eyes but something about the way Shinji looked at her told her not to start any trouble.yet. In the bar on the right were several occupied pool tables and games machines, on the left was the actual bar and upstairs were several bowling alleys.  
  
Asuka and Shinji made there way to the busy bar and found an empty table. A few minutes later a quiet waitress came over to their table, she was quite small, wore two ponytails in her hair and her outfit didn't leave much to the imagination.  
  
"Can I take your order?" She said nonchalantly.  
  
"Yeah", Asuka spoke up not even looking at the waitress, "I'll have a scotch, what about you Shinji?" Asuka asked.  
  
Shinji looked away from the pool game he was watching and looked at Asuka then the waitress, "I'll have a coke please", he looked long and hard at the female waitress, "Hikari?" he asked  
  
The girl nodded. It all fit now it was Shinji, the Red haired girl next to him was Asuka. The waitress started to tear up and threw her arms around Shinji hugging him tightly. Asuka still no wiser as to who this person was wondered just what the heck was going on.  
  
"Excuse me, but if your not to busy trying to get off with your customers I'd like to be served sometime today", Asuka said angrily, all that anger passed away in an instant though as the waitress turned to face her.  
  
It was Hikari, her only real friend in Tokyo 3 before third impact. She couldn't believe it. "Yes miss no problem", Hikari said, hurt by Asuka's comments thinking that Asuka didn't remember her went to get their order.  
  
Suddenly chairs fell over the other side of the room and there was a large amount of noise "You cheating bastard". Everything in the bar stopped, even the loud music as the large man went for his side arm, a mammoth monster gun that should be called artillery rather then a hand gun.  
  
But before his hand could even grip the handle, there were several gunshots and the man's chest promptly exploded with blood. Splattering the wall and table with the red substance. The man's body hit the floor with a loud thud. The cloaked stranger returned to his drink.  
  
Just as suddenly as it stopped the busy moment and loud music of the bar started again as if nothing had happened.  
  
"Shinji did you just see that! That guy he just killed him like that. no one even cares", Asuka spoke genuinely shaken. She had seen men die before; heck she had killed herself in self-defence but never like that, not so coldly. Shinji simply nodded also quite shocked at the brutal death, but more so by the five men now searching the man's body for useful items, like vultures praying off the dead.  
  
Hikari returned with their order, handing Asuka her scotch, which she downed in one and ordered another. She handed Shinji his coke. Hikari went to turn and leave when Shinji stopped her.  
  
"Hikari", Shinji spoke; "when you get off work, can we talk?"  
  
Hikari smiled and said "Sure thing Shinji"  
  
Asuka looked at the two and eyed them oddly, she knew that nothing was going on between them, Hikari would have told her and Shinji, well that pervert couldn't hide anything from her.  
  
The hours past and Hikari's shift was finally finished, her hours were long and hard but they paid well and right now she needed the money. She stepped out into the Alley with Shinji, the Steam hiding them from view. They had both left Asuka in the Bar.  
  
"Hikari", Shinji said simply "You're alive"  
  
"Shinji, what happened to the world? When I went into the Shelters, because the JSDF were attacking us, I fell asleep, when I awoke, we came outside and the world was like this", She hugged onto Shinji and started to cry on his shoulder.  
  
The tears soaking into his shirt, he put his arms around her waist and held her. For the first time in a Month he felt alive, truly alive. Shinji was reminded of Pandora's box, where a curious girl opened the Box of the heavens and released unspeakable evils upon the world but closed it in time to preserve hope.  
  
Hikari rested her head upon his, her lips now only inches away from his own. He could feel her breath. They kissed. It was long and passionate; Hikari lifted her leg up and rubbed it against Shinji as she pushed him against the wall.  
  
Asuka looked around the bar at the various people going about their business; she ordered another scotch from the new waitress. She was getting quite drunk but frankly didn't care, though she did wonder where Shinji and Hikari had disappeared to.  
  
A single leather clad man sat down next to her "Hey gorgeous", he said. "I'm Fred Flint-stone and I'll make your bed rock baby!" the Man continued. Asuka signed. What was it about her that made stupid bikers hit on her so much? Did she somehow deserve this? No She was Asuka; she had saved the world many times.  
  
"I seriously doubt that my friend, your more like Barney Rubble, small and annoying", Asuka retorted. "Oh? Well why don't you come up to my place and I'll show you", 'Fred' persisted.  
  
"Look Pal, I don't know what you're trying to score here but I ain't interested" she said absently rubbing her bandaged left arm; "Now if you excuse me I have to find my friends", Asuka dismissed quickly getting bored.  
  
"You ain't going anywhere bitch", Fred vowed as he held her by her bad arm and tried to pull her to the ground.  
  
"That was your First mistake", Asuka shouted quickly punching the man in the face and shifting her weight to throw the man to the ground.  
  
"Ouch", he said as he hit the ground with a thud, the man sat up for more but the cold metal pressed against his temple and distinctive sound of the hammer of a 9mm handgun clicking into place stopped him in his tracks.  
  
"And your second was thinking you could beat me, what you think because I have my arm bandaged and lost an eye I'm easy prey, so what were you going to do, rape me right here in the bar?"  
  
The man was sweating heavily, not only because he was being held at gunpoint that happened almost everyday, but also because a woman was threatening him.  
  
"I want you to beg" Asuka said grinning evilly.  
  
"What?" Fred asked.  
  
"You heard me, I want you to beg me for you pathetic little life", Asuka clarified.  
  
"NEVER!" the Man shouted, feeling humiliated.  
  
"Fine have it your way", Asuka said, her Finger brushing over the trigger to show him and everyone else she meant business.  
  
"Ok, ok. Please spare my life. please I'll do anything. just don't kill me", Asuka had truly humiliated the man and what's worse she was enjoying it too in some sick twisted way it got her excited, that's one of the reasons she belittles Shinji so much.  
  
Not because of the way he acted, or the fact that he looked at her or that she thought he was a pathetic coward, she simply did it because she could. Asuka removed the gun from the man's head and told him to get out which he did without question. He could never come back to this bar again anyway his male pride had been destroyed beyond redemption now.  
  
Shinji and Hikari finally returned to the bar after their little encounter in the alleyway to be greeted with a very pleased Asuka; they both sat down at the table. Shinji wondered just why Asuka was so happy, he knew there weren't gone all that long so she couldn't have had that much to drink.  
  
Asuka threw back another scotch; the way she drank it back reminded him of Misato another reason for his soul to be dammed to hell for all eternity Shinji cringed inwardly at the painful memory.  
  
Asuka looked at the two of them, they both acted very guilty of something they knew they couldn't hide it, Shinji felt uncomfortable and went to get another drink, when Asuka ceased her opportunity and said "Why him Hikari? Why Shinji" it was a simple question but held more meaning than either of them truly knew.  
  
"In this hell, you just need to feel human Asuka, you can't trust anyone now, but sometimes you just need to feel the warmth of another body, it reminds you that your still alive"  
  
"I don't need anyone!" Asuka shouted, "All I need is my Job!" Asuka continued trying to convince herself she was right.  
  
"That's so lonely Asuka", was Hikari's only response before Asuka ran away out of the bar. Shinji returned with drinks to find Asuka gone, he considered going after her but knew it would be pointless, she wanted to be alone and he respected that.  
  
Even when there were out in the wilderness sometimes she would just up and leave not come back for days then suddenly return as strangely as she left, he wasn't worried about her, she could certainly take car of herself.  
  
Asuka Sat on top of a piece of rubble at the edge of one of the large craters holding herself crying, "I don't", she sobbed; "I don't need anyone, I'm not lonely" for hours she simply sat there crying. Absorbed with her own problems and state of conciseness she didn't notice the men approach her.  
  
Authors: notes: Now that Shinji and Asuka have parted ways what will happen to them, can Shinji find happiness with Hikari? What happened to Touji? And who are these mysterious men after Asuka? Find out next episode.  
  
^_^ Hope your all enjoying the Story so far. 


	5. Captured

Chapter 5: Captured.  
  
Several men swarmed around the large crater stealthily lurking in the shadows waiting for the right time to strike.  
  
"Echo 1 to echo 2, target has found religion"  
  
"Roger Echo 1, show her the light"  
  
"Roger"  
  
There was a loud sniper shot and seconds later Asuka's shoulder exploded with blood as the heavy duty round entered, the force of the impact pushed her down, hard. Asuka reached into her pocket for the gun but it was pointless, within seconds she was surrounded with several sub machine guns pointed at her head.  
  
Asuka dropped the gun it made a slight clang as one of the soldiers kicked it away. He looked like he was dressed in camouflage green heavy body armour, with a Green helmet that came down over his eyes obviously night vision.  
  
One of the soldiers grasped his radio, "This is Echo 2, we have the target in custody" The reply back was "Roger that Echo 2, Sniper team failing back to staging point alpha" two figures stood up on the roof of an adjacent building waving before disappearing inside.  
  
The Soldier, looked at Asuka with disgust, "Biker scum", he said hitting her in the face, quite literally punching her lights out, there was red, then only blackness.  
  
Asuka awoke in a large room, she was handcuffed to a chair and had a table with some water on and a two way mirror directly in front of her.  
  
"So your Hilde Maxwell hmm?" a male voice said from speakers. "That certainly isn't Japanese", said a female voice.  
  
"Oh goody a smart one, its German idiot", Asuka replied sarcastically however was rewarded with an electric shock. Asuka smiled inwardly, it would take a lot more than that to break her.  
  
"So, you're the daughter of a Biochemist?" said the male voice.  
  
"That's right genius", Asuka replied and was rewarded with another shock.  
  
"Rule 1, you will answer all questions truthfully - failure to do so will result in punishment", Said the female  
  
"You want to know about me? Fine, My parents are dead, my mother died in this hell, ironically she was shot by bikers when they broke into her lab I barely escaped with my life. My father was an alcoholic, my mother gave him all her love, I really don't know why she fell for him but when he found out she was pregnant, he left her for some floozy he met in Vegas. My mother had blond hair and had thin rimmed glasses, she was moody and arrogant, but also brilliant, I admired her a great deal", Asuka spoke in one large rant.  
  
She had to admit that Kensuke's background work for her new identity was very extensive, even if he did have a thing for Ritsuko hopefully her act was convincing enough as there was no reply from either voice, meanwhile she was picking the locks of her handcuffs.  
  
Two of the helmeted soldiers came into her room. The Handcuffs clicked as they released Asuka smiled picking locks was practically on the entrance exam back in her NERV days  
  
Asuka Charged one of the soldiers taking him to the ground, taking his side arm, she quickly 180'd and shot the other solder in the chest. Asuka ignored the intense pain in her arm, her instincts and training taking over.  
  
She bolted out of the door and started running, she needed an escape plan, a red alarm klaxon sounded and several soldiers fired down the corridor at her, Asuka made it around a corner and returned fire.  
  
She clenched her arm, knowing this was nuts but it was the only way. She bolted down another corridor large Steel doors closing in front of her, Asuka quickly tried to double back but found another pair of doors in her path, Asuka Knelt pointing the stolen gun, ready to let anyone who came through take it between the eyes.  
  
However her efforts were for nothing as gas filled the closed section, Asuka coughed and sputtered as it filler her lungs, Asuka keeled over, unconscious, when she awoke she was locked in a cell.  
  
Kensuke burst into Otto's bar, he tried to poke his head above the crowd looking for someone, though he couldn't see anything, he cursed his height. But an Idea struck him, he walked up to the large Doorman, "Hey Tiny, can you help me?"  
  
Tiny looked down at Kensuke and smiled his crooked teeth showing. "Sure thing Kenny, what you need?" It was hard to believe but Tiny was a gentle giant, Kensuke and Tiny were very good friends, though Tiny could be one heck of a powerful ally.  
  
"Could you help me look for my friend Shinji?" "Sure thing, you mean that scrawny kid who hangs with that Red head?" Tiny replied. Kensuke simply nodded and Tiny hoisted Kensuke onto his shoulder and shifted his way through the crowd.  
  
"Coming through here, Runaway train", Tiny shouted everyone moved as Tiny made his way in a straight line towards the bar. Tiny despite his friendly nature was feared because of his size. They soon found Shinji sat at the bar talking to the twin pony tailed former class rep, Hikari.  
  
"Hey shin-man", Kensuke spoke as Tiny put him down. Shinji looked at his friend and greeted him warmly, but the news that he friend brought would ruin Shinji's day  
  
"Shinji, Radio Scuttle butt is that, the JSDF have captured a biker", Kensuke paced himself. Shinji looked at his friend puzzled.  
  
"Description, long red hair, Black studded leather jacket and blue jeans, goes by the name Hilde Maxwell"; Kensuke finished, bracing for impact.  
  
The look of realisation hit Shinji; he shouldn't have let her go. If he'd gone after her she would be here now, or would they both be captured? Shinji knew Asuka wouldn't go down without one hell of a fight.  
  
Shinji's mind was made up; he made a promise to himself to protect the red head it was his only chance at redemption. He looked at Kensuke and simply said, "We have to break her out"  
  
Kensuke looked at Tiny, Tiny knew that look, it was the "we're gonna need weapons and some help look", that Kensuke had mastered and they knew exactly where to go to get it.  
  
Authors Notes: None XD 


	6. Penertraiting NERV Headquarters

Chapter 6: Penetrating NERV Head quarters.  
  
Shinji, Kensuke, Hikari and Tiny approached the large security doors that sealed off NERV Headquarters Shinji hoped and prayed that his NERV Identity card would still work as he carefully slid it through the Scanner.  
  
The computer seemed to struggle, and stutter out "Identity... con... con...confirmed, Welcome to NERV head quarters" the large doors opened and closed behind them as they entered.  
  
The lights were off and it was hard to see where anything was, but Shinji knew the layout like the back of his hand, it was one of the things he had to learn about NERV. Shinji slid his ID through the scanner at the elevator but nothing happened, the internal power was off, only the security doors were working.  
  
Shinji and Kensuke, opened the Elevator doors Manually, and looked down the long shaft, Kensuke absently whistled. "Long way down shin-man", Kensuke said as Shinji grabbed the ladder, followed by Kensuke, Tiny and Hikari, as they made there way down, Kensuke began singing.  
  
They finally came to the floor they desired this time Tiny opened the doors and everyone climbed into the corridor. The lights here were flickering, indicating that there was some power albeit unstable.  
  
They came to their destination, the Armoury; Shinji slid his Card through the Reader it just buzzed at him indicating he didn't have access. He looked over at Kensuke who pulled out his Laptop from the rucksack he was carrying.  
  
"Need a new NERV Card my good friend", Kensuke said confidently swiping Shinji's card right out his hand and placing it inside the reader and connecting his laptop to it. After a few minutes, Kensuke's smile broadened as the red light on the door turned to green and opened.  
  
"Congratulations, you now have Class 1A clearance Shinji", Kensuke gloated, Shinji was impressed by the boys skills, when they entered the armoury, Kensuke was like a kid in a candy store. Handguns, Rifles, Machineguns, Explosives and equipment shone all around him.  
  
Shinji knew exactly what he was looking for, he took several P90 Machine guns and Magazines, 9mm Barretta's, C4 Blocks and detonators, plus a sniper rifle, he put them all in a black duffel back and zipped it up.  
  
He also took several bulletproof vests and camouflage gear, put them in a separate bag and chucked it to Tiny. They had got what they came for it was time to leave, and they begun the long process of heading back up to the surface level.  
  
When they arrived at the surface Shinji instructed, everyone to put on their vests and camouflage gear, which they did, Hikari's even came with a cute little black beret.  
  
Shinji handed Tiny and Kensuke a P90 each and kept one for himself, he handed everyone a handgun and Hikari the Sniper Rifle. Shinji handed half the explosives and detonators to Kensuke. Who smiled, it was just like all the games he'd played in a world that seemed so long ago, only this time it was real, as were the bullets and risks.  
  
Kensuke, used his laptop to hack the JSDF defence net and bring up plans for the base they would be raiding, the plan was a simple one, Shinji would penetrate the prisoner complex, laying some of the Charges as he went. Kensuke and Tiny would lay charges at key points to cripple the base and Hikari would be Sniper.  
  
When Shinji had reached Asuka he would detonate his explosives, which would be the signal for Kensuke and Tiny to do likewise. Then Hikari would cover them on the way out.  
  
Under the cover of darkness they approached the JSDF base, that was to put it mildly lit up like a Christmas tree with Guard towers and patrolling soldiers. Hikari set up her Sniper rifle on its stand and focused the telescopic sight  
  
Shinji, Kensuke and Tiny got into the base via a now hole in the fence, they split up, Shinji heading towards the Prisoners cells, Kensuke, the Power plants and barracks.  
  
Shinji Came to a guarded door, the soldier was well armed; Shinji used his stealth to kill him with a knife to the lower back he was dead before he hit the ground. Shinji entered the building placing a Charge behind the unoccupied front desk.  
  
Kensuke made his way to the Power plant closely followed by Tiny who disposed of several guards with his bear hands without a problem. Kensuke placed the charges near the turbines and on several adjoining corridors.  
  
Shinji made his way into the Cell dorm and checked each one individually; he was spotted by one of the guards who opened fire. The crackle of gunfire filled the large room and Shinji's P-90 roared into action as he returned fire the huge 50 calibre bullets flying through the air at over half the speed of sound the Iron plating between the him and the guard buckling pleased Shinji.  
  
There was one more exchange of fire between them before the Plating gave out and the guard was hit with the full force of Shinji's P-90. His bullet- riddled corpse hit the ground.  
  
Asuka cringed inwardly as she woke up, holding her ribs; she crawled over to the bed, mentally summing that they could have been gentler when they beat her. It was the third time since she had been captured that the guards had abused her like this. She was a fighter but certainly not in a fit state to defend herself.  
  
She heard Gun fire briefly and wondered what was going on, then her door was blown of its hinges and there stood Shinji, weapon in hand, looking quite proud of himself. "Ok genius, so what now?" she said. Knowing the entire base was probably on alert from the gunfight. Shinji simply pulled out small tubule device with a red button on the end.  
  
"This", he said as he pressed the button, several large explosions rocked the building.  
  
"Why is it the quietest guys do things the flashiest way", Asuka mentally sighed,  
  
"You can use this can't you?" Shinji said throwing her a handgun, which she caught with her good hand.  
  
"You bet", Asuka said with a smile.  
  
There was another set of explosions, signalling Shinji that Kensuke's mission was accomplished. Shinji and Asuka started to make their way to the Elevator. When the doors opened, they were greeted with the sound of gunfire, Shinji returned fire, throwing the detonator to Asuka.  
  
She instantly knew what to do she pressed the button and another set of explosions engulfed the corridor, when the flames cleared they continued on there way out.  
  
Kensuke Ran out of the Barracks building just in time as the explosion was set off behind him. "KA-BOOM", he yelled. As he ran cross the courtyard several soldiers fired at him. Tiny picked him up and Ran as fast as he could towards the fence, Several of the soldiers fired at Tiny, hitting him in the back and shoulders, In all seven rounds. "I finally get to repay you Kenny"  
  
Tiny threw Kensuke over the fence, 180'd and rushed the shooting solders taking many rounds in the chest and legs, a soldier with a rocket launcher aimed at Tiny and fired but Tiny got there first, crushing the launcher and rocket blowing them and himself to kingdom come.  
  
Kensuke Cried as his friend was killed, he shouldn't have to die, he saved his life. One of the patrol guards spotted Kensuke, he tried to run but it was too late, Kensuke rose his gun to shoot but found he couldn't pull the trigger he froze, the soldier smirked and rose his own gun.  
  
There was a single gunshot.  
  
Authors notes: Cliffhanger XD you better all come back for the next chapter to find out what happens. 


	7. Interlude 01: Awoke to a Broken World

**Interlude 01: Awoke to a broken world**  
  
**Authors notes:** I noticed I was getting to caught up in the whole Shinji soldier boy thing, so next chapter will finish that Arc of the story and take Shinji back to his self Berating best, with a little help from Asuka of course. So while that chapter is being written (which I assure you it is) here is a little short interlude story about how Hikari got her Waitress job in Otto's Bar and a little look into her instrumentality. - Enjoy

===================================  
  
Hikari broke the surface of the LCL Lake, fresh air pushing into her lungs like that of a child who had just been born. She breathed deeply her matted hair falling to her shoulders; she opened her eyes as the LCL drained from her face returning to its lake in short droplets. She looked around the green crosses of light were still raising to the sky all around her.  
  
An intense feeling of loss overcame all her senses, essence and very being "TOUJI" she cried out as loud as she could manage before breaking down to tears. He was alive, he was with her, touching her, kissing her and rubbing his hands across her smooth skin just moments ago, wasn't he...wasn't it?  
  
She could still feel the touch of his rough hands on her cheek like it was there but minutes ago. Hot tears rolled down her cheeks, she had been given a chance to be with Touji she didn't completely understand what was happening though the words "Calling of all souls" seemed fresh in her mind when she looked at that endless orange lake.  
  
She waded to the shoreline the yellow sand beach that she was sure was not always there welcomed her, she lay on her back naked and confused. Staring up at the blood red sky as pink clouds danced around in the light breeze.  
  
"How odd" was all she said; "A red sky"  
  
2 Weeks later   
===================  
  
Hikari had found food, clothing shelter, the best she could expect really, eventually she would make her way from this wasteland to Tokyo 2, though she suspected this was no localised to this area.  
  
She didn't have to pay rent at least though she would need to find work for food. She laughed at herself bitterly, three years as Class Rep and perfect scores, she was supposed to go to graduate top of her class, supposed to go to collage and she was SUPPOSED to marry Touji.  
  
There were a lot of things she was supposed to do with her life that now just seemed like a distant dream as much as she wished for that life, she had to live this one. Which brought her here, to Otto's bar, she could never remember this bar being here before but, like her apartment it was probably claimed and rent-free. People didn't really have much use for money anymore other than for food and water, these simple commodities were sold at extortionate prices. She approached the barman, he seemed nice enough a large man, with a moustache, a few people called him Sam, so she assumed that was his name.  
  
"I'm here to see, Otto about the job for a cook", Hikari spoke quite timidly. This was such a sleazy place she didn't know if she could work here.  
  
The barman looked her up and down examining her every curve, PERVERT! Her mind screamed at the man but she remained silent;  
  
"Otto's in the back, go on through, first door on the left", the barman finally replied.  
  
Hikari simply nodded in response and went through to the back, knocking on the door; "Yeah, yeah, it's open" Otto yelled over the noise of some kind of sporting event; Hikari opened the door and walked through.  
  
Otto was a relatively short greasy cigar wielding man with a short beard. His office was decorated with various firearms, ranging from small handguns to assault rifles and the sound of some sporting event piping out a small radio.  
  
Otto took a puff on his cigar; "So little lady, what can I do for you?"  
  
"I want to apply for the cooks job", Hikari spoke, a bit more sure of herself now.  
  
"Cook huh?" Otto said scanning a list in front of him; "That position has already been filled" Otto said briefly looking up from his list, he saw Hikari's face fall. Otto wasn't a hard man despite his image.  
  
"However, I do have a job open for waitress and if you do well maybe if the Cook position opens up, you get first crack" Otto spoke.  
  
Hikari smiled and nodded. Now it may have seemed like Otto was giving her a break or to get the job was easy but quite frankly he was desperate, plus she'd be working 9am-10pm every day, it was long hard hours but it paid well plus Sam watched out for you.  
  
Otto didn't really care where his customers come from or what they wanted as long as they left there troubles outside, by that same note, no body messed with his employee's  
  
"You start right away", Otto said, taking out a small apron from his desk draw and handing it to her, "Shift finishes 10pm, Sam will walk you home, if you need it", Otto spoke.  
  
Hikari left the office to head back out to the main bar to begin her work for the evening. Leaving Otto to curse out the radio after she assumed his team lost.


	8. Decent Into Darkness

**Chapter 7: Decent into darkness**

Kensuke Cried as his friend was killed, he shouldn't have to die, he saved his life. One of the patrol guards spotted Kensuke, he tried to run but it was too late, Kensuke rose his gun to shoot but found he couldn't pull the trigger he froze, the soldier smirked and rose his own gun.

There was a single gunshot.

The guards Smile disappeared, as the bullet entered the side of his head, another bullet entered his chest and he fell backwards.

Kensuke cowered on the ground clutching himself, he was alive, how was he alive, he should be dead, he failed his friend, he failed Shinji, that bullet should have been for him.

He looked up over to the hill, Hikari was there, looking through the scope of her Sniper rifle, taking out guards and soldier as Shinji and Asuka ran across the base to the exit point.

Kensuke ran up the hill quickly and lay down beside her. She was shaking, Kensuke could see.

"You ok Hikari?" he asked calmly.

"Ask me in a few years", was her only response as she pulled the trigger again sending another solider to his death, another life ended by her hand, the only real comfort she could take from it is that it was necessary.

Shinji and Asuka made there way to the exit point unharmed thanks to Hikari's sniping and Shinji's quick reflexes, Shinji paused for a second taking the Detonator out of Asuka's pocket, pressing the red button one more time to set off the remaining explosives.

Shinji watched for a moment as fire crews rushed from place to place trying to get the fires under control, now was the time to make his escape. They both rushed to the sniper point without stopping telling both Hikari and Kensuke to run which they did without question.

-----------

Oneness

Completeness

Unity

That was everything Shinji felt, so complete, alive, he wasn't alone anymore, wasn't lonely, he felt complete like this was natural, like this was right.

A Voice came to him in his mind; the voice of Rei Ayanami though the voice seemed to carry more confidence and conviction than Rei ever did when she spoke.

"Come to me, my Children" spoke Rei.

"Where am I", Shinji could feel his mind reach out

"You are with me", said the voice.

"Mother". Spoke Shinji.

"Yes", replied the voice. Shinji could feel its warm words wrap around his thoughts like a mother hugging a child.

"You are not my true mother" Shinji spoke.

"I am Mother to all, I am Lilith"

"What have you done"

"I have removed all borders"

"Shinji". The voice of Gendou Ikari came to Shinji

"Father?" Shinji spoke out.

"Yes, look Shinji, Human nature had reached the pinnacle of its evolution, separated by out differences, now we are one, no more nations, no more borders - True Unity"

"But Father..."

---------------

Shinji Jumped awake, this was the fourth dream about instrumentality, Father, Mother, Rei, Misato, they were all gone. It was his fault too weak. Asuka was right all along; he really wasn't anything but a weak little boy.

He glanced at his shoulder Hikari had fallen asleep on it she sighed comfortably in her sleep. Could he really protect her, heck did he even deserve her after he was too weak to protect Touji

Touji

He didn't even know if his friend was alive now, Kensuke had survived

"He who desires death more than anything, shall be granted his wish", The voice of Rei...no Lilith played over in his mind.

After the...accident all Touji wanted to do was die, he could do sports anymore... he was paralysed from the neck down, bed ridden for the rest of his life, Shinji pushed the thoughts of his friend away like he always did, he failed them all. He was supposed to protect the world.

He failed.

Several hours passed and no one came after them, Shinji still sat next to Hikari as she woke briefly, took a swig of water from her Canteen and then nestled back down to rest her head on Shinji's shoulder, falling back asleep, he absently rubbed her hair. Trying to make her feel safe.

Asuka looked at the two of them from across the room as she rested he back against the cold concrete, the blatant show of affection between Shinji and Hikari made her feel sick, it was supposed to be her, that bitch stole him off her. She cocked her gun and went upstairs simply saying she was going on watch.

Kensuke just huddled himself in the corner, a mixture of both fear, remorse, self pity and mourning for his friends death, everyone tried to console the boy but it was something he had to deal with himself.

His own demons had got the better of him, and he had lost his spirit, one of his best friend was dead, he couldn't believe it, those bastards had gunned him down without mercy or quarter.

He started to cry again, he couldn't help it, he told himself men don't cry. He looked over to Shinji as Asuka walked away; he heard the stomping of her combat boots go up the stairs.

Shinji simply nodded said, "Boys don't cry. Men do".

Kensuke sobbed openly into his hands.

---------------------

Asuka walked up the stairs. Why was she so angry? Its not like she really wanted Shinji anyway, if she did she would have been nicer to him, all boys are perverts, I don't need him, I don't need Hikari, I don't need boys, I don't need ANYONE!

"You hear me!" she screamed; "I don't need anyone!" she exhaled, as the words spewed forth from her mouth like a vengeful demon of hell

She dropped to her knees; her anger all used up in one spurt, tears rolling from her eyes.

I don't...I don't need anyone...

**Authors Notes: **Really, REALLY sorry this took so long but I finished the chapter, wasn't happy with it so re-wrote it with more angst for all the main characters. as usual RR Thanks :)

(Also I hate QuickEdit, it kills my Paragraph Seperators)

Next Episode: Everything is falling apart, as Asuka, Shinji, Hikari and Kensuke fall into there own personal hell. Can they escape the downward spiral of self-destruction and break through? - Find out next Episode.


	9. Falling Apart

**Chapter 8: falling apart.**

Shinji looked up, hearing the angered shouting from above, he knew it was Asuka as she hated needing anyone, it was the way she was, and ever since he met her he somehow knew she would be the bane of his life. Asuka was far too proud for her own good.

But that pride was just hiding the feelings she had within, things that lie just beneath the surface, Shinji knew this because had felt it during instrumentality, felt the festering hatred not really for anyone else but herself.

He continued to listen to the noise above, the yelling of expletives, the sound of items being tossed across the room, some of which thudded others shattered on impact.

Hikari lifted her head from its resting spot on Shinji's shoulder, looking over to her companion who had his eyes fixed on the ceiling above.

"Maybe you should go up and talk to her", Hikari Suggested.

The Noise above stopped suddenly and was replaced by a deathly silence as if Asuka or more accurately her anger had run out of steam. Shinji stood from his siting position and headed towards the old wooden stairs, each step was creaking under his weight as he climbed the staircase.

Upon reaching the first floor of the building he heard the quiet sobbing coming from the corner of the almost empty room apart from various crates, was Asuka crying?

"Asuka", Shinji began.

"Shinji", she said simply, while she wiped the tears from her eyes with her sleeve sniffling.

"I…" Shinji began but lost his thread and was interrupted before he could start again.

"Don't apologise Shinji"; Asuka spat out, almost spitefully.

"I wasn't going to", Shinji said looking away knowing it was a blatant lie, not that he really had anything to be sorry for, he had done nothing to be ashamed of other than save her life. He thought back to the little break in that the group had done only hours before. Shinji was confused at how he acted how confident he was, it was like there was another Shinji, within him a more confident Shinji that possessed him and took charge.

He felt the same when he piloted Eva, when he fought the fourth angel it was its first real manifestation, he had refused to run away and disobeyed a direct order to save the life of his friends.

He had failed them once when Touji's sister had got hurt because of him, he made a promise to himself that day when Touji beat him up – never again, he would not let anyone he cared about get hurt ever again.

Touji…

"Shinji, why don't you hate me?" Asuka spoke quietly pulling Shinji out of his self-analysis and into the hands of cold hard reality; not really expecting an answer she continued; "I've been such a terrible person to you Shinji, I deserve it you know... but you don't hate me"

"I tried to Asuka, I really tried to hate you"; Shinji began; "that day on the beach after third impact; I woke up and there you were - the one person that hated me more than anything in the world was the only other survivor. I was so angry"; Shinji said fighting back tears himself.

"But as my hands wrapped around you throat, squeezing the life out of you…I realised, that hatred takes so much time and effort", Shinji spoke soberly.

Asuka could only look down in shame as some of his words cut into her worse than any blade could for they cut into her soul and her heart, even though some believed she did not have one.

"Do you love her Shinji?" Asuka asked suddenly, completely changing the subject away from there own somewhat tentative relationship.

Shinji stayed silent for several minutes, taken off guard by the question, he stood there in stunned silence contemplating the answer, after some deep thought he really honestly didn't know.

It had been such a long time since he loved anyone, for so many years he had felt neither hatred nor love for anyone else, he might love Hikari but in all honesty he couldn't say for certain either way.

"I don't know", Shinji heard the words coming from out of his mouth. The look on Asuka's face changed for a brief moment it was the first time he had seen her unsure of herself save for the incident with the fifteenth the expression quickly vanished, replaced with false calm. Shinji had to really think hard if he'd really seen it at all.

'People change' he thought to himself.

This world had changed and it had changed them. Everyone who survived Third impact had changed not least of all the pilots and those closest to them. Asuka was no longer the self hating arrogant person she once was, now she was still the proudest person he had ever met but she had come to accept her mother's death and move on.

Hikari had changed to, before Third impact he could never have seen them together, she had Touji and he had…no one. She has given up on her dreams her goals in life have changed due to the cold hard reality of Third impact and for what ever her reasons she has chosen him maybe its her own way of dealing with her pain.

Shinji had changed to, he definitely wasn't the person he used to be, the person who would go quietly into the night, but he wasn't sure if he was the man he wanted to be either.

All the children, even Kensuke had grown up, been forced to grow up. When you deal with the devil, the devil doesn't change but it changes you.

"Asuka, what if we could do it over again", Shinji said simply, making Asuka look up at him

"You mean life?" she replied nonchalantly; "I don't know Shinji, knowing what I do, would I pilot Eva, would I save the world from the angels only to let a madman destroy it anyway...I don't know"

She could see Shinji visibly tense as he flexed his hand, Asuka sighed, this always happened when she talked of his father; "For all your fathers faults Shinji, he was right about one thing – Mankind is the Eighteenth angel."

She paused briefly; "Seventeen beings of power sent by god couldn't destroy us, we took up arms and used the tools of god himself to defeat our oppressors, but in the end, we destroyed ourselves"

"I had a choice you know, Rei came to me during Third impact…but it wasn't Rei", Shinji began; Asuka just looked confused; "She gave me the choice, Instrumentality or restore the world"

Asuka sensed where this was going; "You did the right thing Shinji"

"Did I?" Shinji said raising his voice; "One, no more nations, no more borders or war, true unity, everyone you loved or cared about with you forever…"

"At the expense of whom we are!" Asuka raised her voice to equal measure with Shinji's; "Even if it meant getting my mother back Shinji, I wouldn't want to live like that, it's too high a price"

"Can you say living like this is any better Asuka?" Shinji almost spat back.

"We're alive", Asuka spoke and she could see Shinji calm down; "sometimes being alive is enough Shinji"

Shinji felt all the anger at himself leave him, that well of self-hatred that had been slowly been building up since they woke up after Third impact finally fall away into nothingness replaced by simple emptiness

"Surviving is never enough Asuka, this isn't living", Shinji said turning around.

(0 0 0)

Hikari looked over at Kensuke who was sobbing quietly in his sleep, obviously thinking of his fallen friend, grief was a terrible thing, it was painful and emotional but it was also sadly necessary, people needed to grieve for those they lost.

She was drawn to her own action during the escape; she had killed at least a dozen men, everything they ever were or would be ended by a single bullet, a single pull of the trigger, what gave her the right? The only thing should could take comfort in is that once again it was necessary or they all would have surely died.

Pushing her grim thoughts away she pondered if she was really grieving for Touji or was she simply replacing him with Shinji, they were so alike in so many ways it was almost unsettling. Touji would hide it but he was more like Shinji than anyone but she knew that under that facade of cool he was just a timid kind boy, just like Shinji.

She heard the muffled raised voices from upstairs, where they arguing again? Asuka was the most stubborn person she had ever met. Hikari stood, yawning tiredly she started towards the wooden staircase, then she could clearly hear the exchange between the two now, this was something new, Shinji would never raise his voice in the past. Though what she heard next was something that would shake her to the very core.

"Do you love her" Asuka had asked, obviously referring to Hikari 

_There was a moment of silence then Shinji replied with a hesitant "I don't know_"

Did he love her? Did she love him…Hikari honestly didn't know, she wasn't ready for that kind of question, she knew she loved Touji but she didn't even know if she was in this relationship for the right reasons yet let alone love.

She quickly doubled back fearing what else she might learn from this convocation, sitting back down; she pulled out an old photo from her pocket its glossy effect long faded due to mistreatment it was even wrinkled in several places.

"What would you do?" she quietly asked to photo of the boy she once loved, it was a fairly close face photo; Touji was stood there smiling scratching the back of his head. It was taken a day or two before he received the news he was chosen it looked so happy he had no idea that in 48 hours he would be dead. Hikari never blamed Shinji for his death, how could she? It wasn't his fault.

Shinji had told her everything, how his father had reclassified Evangelion Unit 03 as an angel and ordered its destruction along with the pilot, how he had used the dummy plug when Shinji refused to obey the order to kill his friend. Shinji had even gone so far as to place the knife in her hands telling her to kill him to take his life for Touji's.

Instead of killing him that night, she had embraced him and they spent the night sobbing in each other's arms one over a lost love and the other over a lost best friend.

Hikari was pulled out of her own memories by the sound of Shinji sitting down next to her; she looked over to his face, turning his head she looked into his blue eyes. He didn't look angry anymore, the self hatred that had been in his eyes was now gone but perhaps what was more scary is that they now looked empty and devoid of life.

Was Shinji really dead inside…even if you feel bad, you still feel, if Shinji really couldn't feel anymore was he even human?

The question played on her mind as she rested her head on his shoulder to let sleep reclaim her. Shinji simply kissed her forehead.

**Notes: **Pre-read done by Buzz. I have nothing else to add, other than sorry this too so damn long, haven't really been motivated to write recently


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